Tiger By The Tail

The "Distraction Media" finally got their bloody wedge issue; Tiger Woods' infidelities.

I know more about Tiger's whores than I need to.

Tiger Woods has been recast as O.J. Simpson for this decade. His marriage has been laid bare for the last couple of weeks, and I'm appalled that Americans are falling for this obvious bit of scumbaggery. There are real issues of import; why does anyone care about this?

Let's boil this down to its basic element: here's a news story about a celebrity who cheated.

How is this news in this day and age?

Tiger - here's my appeal to you - don't fucking kill yourself; don't go off the deep end. This is not the end of your world; it is the end of everyone thinking that you were some sort of infallible icon...after all your accolades, you're just a man.

Deal with it.

I have a lovely girl, and I'll never cheat on her. I can say that absolutely, without reservation. Tiger should have been aware that these women were after his celebrity, not his person. Trust me...if I ever get famous or rich, I'll pay a bodyguard to fuck every groupie coming my way...he'll promise them that they'll get a piece of me, after he gets a slice...then, throw them bitches out on their asses!

What...are they going to say anything to anyone? "I tried to bang Lion Steel, but his bodyguard screwed me and threw my whore ass out?"

Hmm...actually, that might make great copy at the Post.

Oh...and a cautionary note to Elin...they will turn on you like sharks to chum...so don't think your peccadilloes aren't in the public domain...just wait until they get tired of you.

So...to add: Accenture (formerly Arthur Andersen...oh - did everyone forget?) is right to drop Woods from their advertising...Bernie Madoff is a much better figurehead. Imagine the balls of the scumbags who, along with Enron, dry ass-raped California for electricity.

Yes, that's right - Enron's former accountants don't think that Tiger Woods is a good spokesman.

Weekend Update

Weekend Update for December 4-8, 2009

A couple of things to keep an eye on...first order of business is

Monserrate sentencing could bring jail time
By Jeremy Walsh

Last Updated: 11:25 AM, December 3, 2009

Posted: 11:25 AM, December 3, 2009

Friday is a day of reckoning for state Sen. Hiram Monserrate (D-East Elmhurst), who faces up to a year in jail when he is sentenced for misdemeanor assault. But jail time is just one possibility for Monserrate, a first-time offender, former Marine and ex-NYPD officer.

Monserrate was convicted in October of recklessly injuring his girlfriend, Karla Giraldo, after a December 2008 fight in his Jackson Heights apartment. Monserrate is depicted on security camera footage dragging Giraldo away from a neighbor’s door as she holds on to the staircase and then the doorway of the apartment building in an apparent attempt to resist him.

The misdemeanor conviction could carry a sentence of jail time, probation, a fine or anger management classes, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said.

Monserrate was acquitted of felony assault charges for allegedly slashing Giraldo’s face with a broken glass after discovering another man’s police union card in her purse. Monserrate and Giraldo have both claimed her injuries were accidental, incurred when he stumbled in the dark and spilled water on her, causing her to shoot upright in bed and collide with the glass in his hand.

His attorney, Joseph Tacopina, has said he will appeal the misdemeanor conviction.

In the meantime, Monserrate faces an uphill battle to cover hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal expenses and to build a war chest for his 2010 re-election bid.

The Albany Times Union reported Monserrate has established a legal defense fund based on a legal opinion issued for former state Sen. Efrain Gonzalez that differentiated between what was an improper gift and what would be considered a legitimate contribution to the fund.

The Queens Democratic Party has already endorsed state Assemblyman Jose Peralta (D-Jackson Heights) in the 2010 Democratic primary for Monserrate’s seat.

But the senator may not be in office that long. The state Senate is in the process of deciding whether it has the authority to expel Monserrate based on the conviction. Had he been found guilty of a felony, the senator would have been forced to resign. With the lesser charge in place, the Senate’s recourse is unclear. Public hearings are expected soon.

Monserrate’s participation in a June coup in the Senate also jeopardizes his viability in the state Legislature. He followed state Sen. Pedro Espada (D-Bronx) over to the Republican fold briefly, overturning the two-vote Democratic majority and sparking a month-long stalemate that alienated many of his colleagues.


Reach reporter Jeremy Walsh by e-mail at jewalsh@cnglocal.com or by phone at 718-229-0300, Ext. 154.

Oh, look - three years probation...no jail time.

In other news...looks like ClimateGate is out of the bag. Oh, Al...I hear that they're calling for your Academy Award and your Nobel Peace Prize to be rescinded.

Oops.

Tiger...should have given up the goods in the beginning.

Did anyone read Buddy Boys by Mike McAlary? Apparently, this tool LEO didn't.