THE VINES (# 01 – 2010) - Room Eight

THE VINES (# 01 – 2010)
posted by Rock Hackshaw
Mon, 02/15/2010 - 11:01pm

In my last Vines column (see # 10-09), I told you that I had inside info, which stated that upon finding out Eliot Spitzer’s team had tagged him for the Lieutenant-governor slot, David Paterson said: “they surely haven’t vetted me for this job”. And now Paterson goes up on a local radio station and directly corroborates said info. This had been a news item on the blogs (see Elizabeth Benjamin’s blog) last week. I hereby reiterate what I wrote in a column recently, calling for mainstream media (and alternative mediums too) to do a better job vetting candidates before elections are held; this is a responsibility placed squarely on the shoulders of the fourth and fifth estates (non-identical twins). And by fifth estate, I refer to all the alternative mediums that have sprung up with all the technological advancements in communications, since the founding fathers ratified the constitution (and the fourth estate). For example: the internet, twittering, blogging, texting and the like, can now be considered the fifth estate.

David Paterson needs to pass on this upcoming primary. He is dead meat. There has been too much “stuff”’ out there even before he replaced Spitzer as governor. And by stuff, I mean “bad press”. Look; I really don’t want to join this “train” they have been pulling on his reputation for too many months now. Gatemouth correctly calls it a “gangbang”. And as much as I feel for the brother, the truth is this: he has no one to blame but himself.

If David stays in the race he will only hurt the democrats’ chances of retaining the governorship. The primary could become a pig sty, and as a democrat I would hate to see that. David Paterson needs to lay down his sling-shot on this battleground, for the good of the party. David Dinkins, Charlie Rangel and a few others from the uptown crew, need to put him in a room and put some sense into his thick skull: he is dead man walking. I don’t think he, his wife, kids and extended family, need to deal with this sideshow anymore: enough already. It’s tiring. It’s boring. It’s distasteful. It’s demeaning. You can add your own adjective or adverb, if as a reader of this column, you so choose.

David Paterson has already made history (twice), and now it is time to move on. As far as I know, he was the first black minority leader of the state senate, and also the first black governor of New York. He may also have made history by being the first legally blind governor anywhere (definitely New York). Well, if I am incorrect, Gatemouth will definitely straighten me out here/lol.

Up in Queens we can expect some fireworks this September. It is rumored that Assembly member Aubrey is getting a challenge (via Miranda?); something he hasn’t gotten for a while. And if Jose Peralta wins Hiram Monseratte’s vacant seat in a special election next month, then expect Bryan PuFolkes to tackle Francisco Moya in the fight to replace Jose in the assembly. Rumors are that Malcolm Smith won’t be long in the Senate since he has his eyes on other things -outside of politics. BTW, from Queens: another Weprin went to the Albany legislature last week; I think this makes four of them now (well, at least three). Think family-dynasty folks.

Pedro Espada jnr. made an ass of himself at the Black and Hispanic Caucus events held in Albany last weekend. He tried to lead a walkout during Harold Ford’s speech, citing Ford’s evolving positions on immigration reform. He got one or two followers: that’s it. There was definitely no mass exodus as he anticipated. Espada is getting a primary challenge folks. Are you surprised?

BTW, reports from Albany indicate that Harold Ford did himself well with his keynote speech to the caucus. I viewed and listened on a blog clip and I wasn’t overly impressed. It was a’ight (as they say on the streets): meaning mediocre at best. Harold has a very slim chance of pulling off a victory here, but I must admit that he will bring a little excitement to the race.

I hope Mort Zuckerman (Daily News) stays away from this race. The last thing we need is to have one of Bloomberg’s co-conspirators in the term limits hijack, running for anything. Go away little man: and stay gone.

As much as I suspect Hiram Monseratte’s banishment from the Senate will be a long drawn out legal battle, I am really more concerned that this precedent will be racially applied like most things political and legal. As I predicted recently, survival in the Senate -by those who are convicted of misdemeanors- will eventually come down to clout, connections, and stature. I should have added race, nationality and ethnicity to the mix. I wonder if Howie Gatemouth really understands where I am coming from on this one. We shall see.

Relative to Senator Kevin Parker, it was disappointing to see that he was once again involved in another fracas before the vote was even taken last week. If you think he hasn’t gone after females -like he did with Diane Saverino- before, then you are sadly mistaken. I am starting to conclude that this guy is beyond redemption, and has serious mental-health issues. If he goes down for the count, then expect the race for his seat to be hotly contested. Right now there are five solid candidates ready to replace him. Two are ready to challenge him right away, even if he survives all his contemporary trials and tribulations. These two are: businessman/activist Wellington Sharpe, and educator/activist Rudy Daly.

The other potential candidates for this seat are Terry Hinds (attorney), Dr. Dexter McKenzie, and former city council member Dr. Kendall Stewart (YES). Let me further state that Kevin’s actual demise will only add one or two others to the mix. For now, these are the five people who have expressed real interest in such a race.

At the Black and Hispanic Caucus weekend, three of the candidates here were seen making the rounds (McKenzie, Sharpe and Stewart). Word is that Stewart has really taken his loss to Jumanee Williams to heart. It is said that he has dropped more weight than a Jenny Craig graduate. Doc Stewart needs to exit on the right, and leave politics for less stressful pastures. Meanwhile Williams was sighted making the rounds in Albany also. This young man is a rising star in Brooklyn’s politics. He was courageous enough to get on the city council floor, in order to publicly express his belief that Charles Barron was a good chairman, when he headed up the Higher Education Committee (2001 thru-2010). At some point during this tenure Williams was a student at Brooklyn College- where he obtained both BA and MA degrees. Although he didn’t vote to reinstate Barron, he paid him a fine compliment.

Despite all this, Barron immediately went after the Black, Latino and Asian members of this caucus at the next meeting, as he had done many times over the years. Barron berated them for allowing Quinn to get away with stripping him from his committee and for not supporting his reform effort, etc. Melissa Veverito was one of very few to stand up to Barron’s bullying and intimidating tactics. He is becoming a bully right before our eyes folks: all because he is impotent and ineffective in the council. By now he must have lost any support he may have tried to garner. What a friggin waste!!!

If you had a hundred dollars for every time Barron has called the caucus members “Uncle Toms”, then you will would be a rich man. Over the years, the name-calling, verbal abuse, loud admonishments and ill-treatment has happened many times -especially when he couldn’t get his way. I wonder if any of the other members have the moral courage to come out publicly and back me up on this. We shall see. Again, I stand by what I write here. And if he ever wants to challenge me to meet me in a dark alley, I will still stand by my column, as I walk into the alley all by myself. You see folks; the truth will always set you free. Charles Barron is the biggest disappointment in Brooklyn’s politics. Many electeds tell me this all the time, but they also refuse to go public with it.

If the race for the 21st Senatorial District (minus Parker) were to get crowded with too many blacks (and Caribbean-Americans), I wouldn’t be surprised if female district leader (44AD) Lori Knipel jumps in. Objectively speaking, I think she should. Why not? After all, she ran for the seat in 2002.

Of the first five contenders I have mentioned before, all are Caribbean-Americans. Three are Jamaican-born (Daly, McKenzie and Sharpe). And trust me when I tell you there are about four or five more Caribs looking at these unfolding developments. Until I speak to some of them I will keep their names out of this column. To be clear: I am not one of them. I have no intention of running to replace KP; none whatsoever.

Look; I also expect a Haitian-American candidate to jump in this race. Someone like Rev. Sam Nicolas would make a strong candidate here. My good friend Wellington Sharpe has already approached me for an endorsement and my support. Once the field is rounded out, I will facilitate him; but it is still early for all that. Wellington has paid serious dues with his community activism. He has a long track record of political involvement going back to the seventies. He deserves one more shot at elected office.

Don’t be surprised if Una and Yvette Clarke become key players in determining who wins this seat. I think Assemblyman Nick Perry will probably try to flex his political muscle here, but word is that Nick is finally getting a challenge after 12 years without facing a primary opponent. Who the rookie council member (Jumanee Williams) supports here, will interest many of those who still eye the 45th council district seat. He will be wise to thread lightly in this race.

In another development, Senator John Sampson was said to be getting a challenge from Kenneth Evans (again), but then the word on the street changed: and now I am hearing that Evans will tackle Inez Barron instead. The Sampson race would have developed into a grudge re-match, since in the eyes of Ken Evans, Sampson was one of about half a dozen people, responsible for him not holding elected office today. BTW, there is grumbling about the way John handled the Hiram Monseratte imbroglio. And this is coming from electeds. I really sympathize with John on this one: it was a no-win situation for him from Jump Street.

Also getting challenges come September are assembly member Junior Boyland (via Tony Herbert), and his district leader wife (via Darlene Mealy) in the 55th AD. Tony has begun interviewing prospective campaign mangers for this effort. In the past he has had some trouble putting together meaningful campaign structures, but this time he promises to do it right. I do wish him luck. One of those being interviewed is a former campaign manager of mine (Joeann Brusche), who was quite instrumental in helping to get Inez Barron elected to the state assembly.

Word out of the 40th AD suggests Kevin McCall will run for male district leader and challenge Earl Williams. State senator Velmanette Montgomery (via Mark Pollard) is also set to be challenged; while Rev. Camera (43rdAD) is getting a freebee; so too is Hakeem Jeffries. There is someone considering a primary challenge to Helene Weinstein (41AD). I am not at liberty to disclose the name right now. Ms. Weinstein hasn’t had a challenge in 16 years; meanwhile the 41st AD has seen many demographic changes since then. That could be rather interesting, won’t it?

In the 11th congressional, rumors have been swirling for some time that Yvette Clarke will be primaried; however even at this late stage, I have failed to uncover who that challenger could be. I am starting to suspect it’s all bullshit. Yvette has maintained a good profile since she came to office in 2006. She might be an intimidating candidate right now: plus it will take loads of cash to even have a chance of winning. She may not be the greatest fundraiser, but she has a base of voters here. She will be tough to beat; especially by a late starter.

It looks as though congressman Ed Towns is going to get a “freebee” this time around, since word is that neither Tish James nor Hakeem Jeffries will demonstrate the testicular fortitude to challenge him. Charles Barron (“Chucky Bee”) isn’t doing it either since he cannot raise the requisite funds for a meaningful challenge. And I suspect that Kevin Powell is a non-starter. Many people want Hakeem to run, but he is a very reluctant runner. Hey dude: “faint heart never won a fair lady”/lol.

Speaking of “Chucky Bee” himself, it appears that my article (“Don Quixote”) on him may just cost me my part time job with council member Darlene Mealy (Communications Director). I have been handed a letter outlining the council’s guidelines on “blogging”, from the Office of the General Counsel. I am studying the document and may have to get legal advice in order to continue blogging. The letter specifically cited the “Don Quixote” column. If you haven’t read that column, then go up to my archives here and do so. You can click on my name under “Bloggers” to get there. Tell me what you think about it. All I know is this: I do have first amendment rights via the US constitution. ‘Nuff said.

In fairness to Ms. Mealy, let me state unequivocally, that she and her two advisors who hired me, have never attempted to place restrictions on my writings, at any point over the last 3 months. If it is true that Barron protested my column -which is what has caused this letter to be issued- then he is nothing but a wimp. For years I have challenged him to publicly debate me whenever issues were hot (like “Ebonics”), but he always refused. In the past -whenever I openly critiqued him- I have challenged him to refute my truths, by writing columns on Room Eight New York Politics and other blogs; again, he has always refused. I was told by a highly reputable source that he is mad at me: so what. I write nothing but the truth from where I see it. His wife has been mad at me for years. Both Inez and Charles don’t get it, and that’s a shame. They may be well-meant, but they have one-tracked minds; close-minded in areas where they should be objective.

If this letter becomes a big issue and I have to give the council-woman notice, then c’est la vie. I am going to stand up for my first amendments rights to write my political columns as I see fit; to hell with “DON QUIXOTE” CHARLES BARRON (if he is the cause of all this). I have always survived the hits. This too shall pass. If I am fired over my writings then ditto.

I must say that working for an elected has been quite informative. Seeing things from another angle has given me fresher outlooks on city government. My perspective has surely been broadened. Some constituents swear that electeds can make miracles; but they cannot.

On another plain, it is pleasing to announce that John O’Hara has been reinstated as a lawyer. John lost his license to practice law when he was convicted of voting from the wrong address (even though he actually lived there also). Many people felt that DA Hynes was both vindictive and hypocritical in pursuing the case, which I will write more about in time. Welcome back John: we sure missed you in the insurgent trenches bro’.

John was one of the architects in the challenge to D.A. Charles Hynes (by attorney Sandra Roper) many moons ago. Some say this is where all his legal woes started. As for the Ropers, Sandra’s sister (Ms. Casilda Roper Simpson) will be running for public office again in the near future. When, where and for what office is yet to be announced. This dynamic young woman is a good candidate for any office she chooses. I hope you all will support her when the time comes.

In Harlem, word is that Adam Clayton Powell is running for Congress (again). He is said to be challenging Charlie Rangel again. There is another candidate already in the race, so I am sure old Charlie is smiling. Truth is this: Charlie needs to ride off into the sunset: like yesterday. You gotta make way (room) for the young folks Charles.

Word is that of the three “minority” congressional seats in Brooklyn (Clarke, Towns and Velasquez), after reapportionment (post-census) one will be gone. Yvette Clarke has the least seniority so she might be the most vulnerable. Remember, New York State has been steadily losing population (compared to many other states) over the past half century. Let’s hope the black delegation of electeds in NY fight to save the 11th congressional district. It’s about inclusion folks. It’s about inclusion.

When I speak to blacks all over the world lately, I am starting to get a familiar refrain. It appears that most are viewing the Republican attacks on Barack Obama as nothing but a racist backlash. They see Republican obstructionism as racially motivated. I keep reminding them that most of the voters who gave Barack his record victory (highest raw number for a president ever) were white. This doesn’t deter their view though. This isn’t good folks. Someone in the Republican Party has to step forward and do damage control. They are losing minorities in droves, and they never had a lot to start with.

I will leave you with this teaser: I won’t be surprised if a woman enters the race for Hiram’s vacant seat. The issue of domestic violence (DV) can aid a female candidate here. So far only men have shown interest in this seat, but I expect that to change before the September primary. There is a small rumor floating around that Hiram’s county-selected replacement has skeletons in his closet too; for his sake I hope it isn’t true.

Finally; let me say this: folks come up to me all the time and accuse me of writing this, or that, or the other; ready to step to me with bellicose intent; I always tell them the same friggin thing: read my columns before you step to me. And make sure you understand what you are reading. I stand behind what I write: always. I am sending this comment to not only elected officials, but also to their sycophants and ass-kissers. ‘Nuff said.

Stay tuned-in folks; things will be warming up soon.

Don't Let The Senate Chamber Door Hit You On The Ass, Monserrate!

Despite the fact that New York City wakes up to a blizzard, I woke up quite exuberant today...can you guess as to why?

I'll bet that you have some idea.

ALBANY – A state senator, convicted of assaulting his girlfriend, was expelled from the State Senate, late Tuesday night.

The vote was 53 to 8, to kick out Sen. Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat.

Monserrate was convicted of misdemeanor assault, following a trial last fall. He had been accused of assaulting Karla Giraldo, then dragging her through the lobby of their apartment building, in December 2008.

The senate had the option of censure. A felony conviction would have meant mandatory expulsion.

In a statement, Monserrate claims the expulsion disenfranchises the voters who elected him.

“There is no question those of us fortunate enough to hold a position of public trust must be held to a higher standard befitting the privilege of representing the people of New York”, said Senate Majority Conference Leader John Sampson. “Today, the Senate acted to protect the best interests of the people we serve and preserve the dignity of our body.”

Marcia Pappas, President of NOW-NYS stated, "For over a year The National Organization for Women-New York State has repeatedly sent the message that anything less than expulsion was not acceptable. Any form of violence against women is not acceptable. We hope that this serves as a wakeup call to all law makers. Whether you are a candidate or a sitting elected official, if you are violent towards another person, you are not fit to hold office."

I want the thank the members of the Senate who finally did the right thing and removed this sub-human piece of garbage from his position of power.

His arrogance in continuing to maintain that he was performing the will of the people would have continued to delegitimize the Senate, had he been allowed to retain his seat. Let's examine his conduct:

The committee criticized Monserrate for refusing to cooperate with its investigation. Its report noted that he was convicted of dragging his girlfriend in a domestic incident and told a judge he took full responsibility for his actions. But in later media interviews, he didn't acknowledge that, the report said.

If you'll recall, Monserrate was reportedly "enraged" at finding a PBA card in the possession of his girlfriend, Karla Giraldo. He reportedly was "bringing her a glass of water" when the glass somehow came to cut her face. He then insisted on dragging her to the hospital, which was caught on surveillance video (courtesy of Huffington Post) - click link to go to page.

He absolutely lied in regards to his accountability in this incident, and refused to take any responsibility. Add to this the shenanigans that he and fellow senator Pedro Espada engaged in last year which brought the Senate to a halt for over a month, and I think you'll agree with me that Monserrate had to go.

See ya!

In other news...I am interested in knowing if the New York Post is engaging in a smear campaign to induce current New York Governor David Paterson not to seek a full, elected term of office. Considering former governor Eliot Spitzer's untimely fall from grace, and the hard decisions Paterson has been forced to enact, he deserves the chance to see if New Yorkers will allow him to run for a full term. I believe that challenger Andrew Cuomo has a great chance; he is working to curb the daily malfeasance that occurs behind the scenes daily in New York, and I think the last thing New York needs now is yet another financial Ponzi scheme on the order of the Madoff scandal. The New York Times has not yet put out their story, and they are playing the old "follow the leader" game, stating that they're only following the story as the Post has reported. The one thing that really hit hard was the quote used on the cover of the Post yesterday: "I did NOT have sex with that woman". Don't you all remember where and from whom you heard that quote previously? That's right - it was our former whoremaster president, William Jefferson Clinton. You've been placed in great company, Paterson.


Let's see...and, if there isn't any merit at all to this story, let's see how large the apology to Paterson will be.

The Copenhagen Crime Fable Begins!

Yes! Today is the day that representatives from nearly 200 nations try to jam a lie down the world's collective throats; namely, the Copenhagen Climate Conference. Of course, we in the know are aware of something we like to call the ClimateGate Iceberg, or simply, the intercepted/planted email from the climate scientists from East Anglia.

Global Warming is a goddamned LIE, just in case you didn't get the memo.

TAKE OUR SURVEY: Should Gore's Oscar and Nobel prize be taken back?
http://www.PJTV.com/climategate

Guess what? It's also Pearl Harbor Day! I asked someone to tell me what they thought about it...I didn't get an answer. I was hoping to get into a big brouhaha about how they were lied to decades ago about the so-called "surprise attack". Ah, well.

I still can't believe that fucking scumbag Monserrate got PROBATION. Let's go through the scenario again: Hiram heard about the card in her bag; after some heated words, he decides to go get her a glass of water; upon approaching her, he TRIPS and the WHOLE GLASS in his hand CUTS HER FACE.

And the check's in the mail, and that other story...oops!

Weekend Update

Weekend Update for December 4-8, 2009

A couple of things to keep an eye on...first order of business is

Monserrate sentencing could bring jail time
By Jeremy Walsh

Last Updated: 11:25 AM, December 3, 2009

Posted: 11:25 AM, December 3, 2009

Friday is a day of reckoning for state Sen. Hiram Monserrate (D-East Elmhurst), who faces up to a year in jail when he is sentenced for misdemeanor assault. But jail time is just one possibility for Monserrate, a first-time offender, former Marine and ex-NYPD officer.

Monserrate was convicted in October of recklessly injuring his girlfriend, Karla Giraldo, after a December 2008 fight in his Jackson Heights apartment. Monserrate is depicted on security camera footage dragging Giraldo away from a neighbor’s door as she holds on to the staircase and then the doorway of the apartment building in an apparent attempt to resist him.

The misdemeanor conviction could carry a sentence of jail time, probation, a fine or anger management classes, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said.

Monserrate was acquitted of felony assault charges for allegedly slashing Giraldo’s face with a broken glass after discovering another man’s police union card in her purse. Monserrate and Giraldo have both claimed her injuries were accidental, incurred when he stumbled in the dark and spilled water on her, causing her to shoot upright in bed and collide with the glass in his hand.

His attorney, Joseph Tacopina, has said he will appeal the misdemeanor conviction.

In the meantime, Monserrate faces an uphill battle to cover hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal expenses and to build a war chest for his 2010 re-election bid.

The Albany Times Union reported Monserrate has established a legal defense fund based on a legal opinion issued for former state Sen. Efrain Gonzalez that differentiated between what was an improper gift and what would be considered a legitimate contribution to the fund.

The Queens Democratic Party has already endorsed state Assemblyman Jose Peralta (D-Jackson Heights) in the 2010 Democratic primary for Monserrate’s seat.

But the senator may not be in office that long. The state Senate is in the process of deciding whether it has the authority to expel Monserrate based on the conviction. Had he been found guilty of a felony, the senator would have been forced to resign. With the lesser charge in place, the Senate’s recourse is unclear. Public hearings are expected soon.

Monserrate’s participation in a June coup in the Senate also jeopardizes his viability in the state Legislature. He followed state Sen. Pedro Espada (D-Bronx) over to the Republican fold briefly, overturning the two-vote Democratic majority and sparking a month-long stalemate that alienated many of his colleagues.


Reach reporter Jeremy Walsh by e-mail at jewalsh@cnglocal.com or by phone at 718-229-0300, Ext. 154.

Oh, look - three years probation...no jail time.

In other news...looks like ClimateGate is out of the bag. Oh, Al...I hear that they're calling for your Academy Award and your Nobel Peace Prize to be rescinded.

Oops.

Tiger...should have given up the goods in the beginning.

Did anyone read Buddy Boys by Mike McAlary? Apparently, this tool LEO didn't.

Don't Drop The Soap, Bernie!

Scumbag Bernie Kerik's going back in the can! Hahahahahahaha!

Remember Bernie Kerik, that swaggering sack of testosterone? Looks like he's in real trouble now:

NEW YORK - Former New York City police Commissioner Bernard Kerik has been indicted on charges of making false statements to White House officials vetting him for the position of Department of Homeland Security secretary.

The indictment was handed up Tuesday by a federal grand jury in Washington, D.C. It means Kerik will face trials in New York and Washington.

Similar false-statement charges were brought as part of a larger case in New York but were dismissed and transferred to Washington, where prosecutors say the crimes occurred.

The indictment alleges Kerik falsely denied that as a public official he had any financial dealings with contractors seeking to do business with the city. Prosecutors say the contractors spent more than $255,000 renovating Kerik's apartment.

Don't drop the soap, you stupid sack of shit - someone's waiting for that nice virgin territory. And as for you, Giuliani - you're not known as "America's Mayor"...you're known as "America's Asshole". Don't run for governor, asshat.

Hiram...you're not far behind (pardon the pun).

The "Get Smart" School Of Journalism

I'm calling "shenanigans" on the boy-in-wayward-balloon story yesterday - there was some scumbaggery afoot that WE THE PEOPLE were not made aware by our "liberal media". One only wonders what that could be...

I'll give an example:

"TWA Flight 800 Breaks Apart In Midair; Cause Unknown"

So...over 200 eyewitnesses notice an object approaching the doomed aircraft before the catastrophic event.

"Would you believe the 'streak' that you all thought you saw was actually the plane itself breaking apart in midair from the fuel igniting itself?"

"No? Would you believe that all of you were DRUNK?"

I just heard on 1010WINS this morning, at 6:32 AM, that "the balloon incident was NOT A HOAX"...and the check is in the mail...and I promise not to do that thing in your mouth...OOPS!

Update: On Larry King Live (hosted by Wolf Blitzer), the child admitted to the story being a hoax, his parents are noted for having been contestants on various "reality TV" shows, notably the wife-swapping show. The mind reels...


Let's try this again:

"WTC Brought Down By Impacts From Passenger Jets And Fires From Jet Fuel"

Then a peer-reviewed report is published which not only refutes the possibility that airplanes could damage a substructure which withstands hurricane-force winds daily, can survive multiple strikes from wayward planes (rated to be at least equal to the impacts realized by WTC Buildings 1 & 2); nor could open-air fires have affected the viability of the steel comprising the substructure of the building, but that materials used in controlled demolition were found in the dust from the "collapse" of said buildings, not to mention that a THIRD BUILDING "collapsed" that day, that was not directly impacted by much of anything, and did not experience huge fires.

"Would you believe a microwave set to 999 minutes with a soda can?"

"No?"

"Would you believe THERMAL EXPANSION?"

"Tough crowd!"
____________________________

I have two words for you, dear readers: Hiram Monserrate.

Okay...actually, it should include one more word - SCUMBAG.

I'll have to wait until I run by the actual testimony...but...how does a glass go from being whole in your hand to being broken against your girlfriend's face...UNLESS YOU BROKE IT FIRST, SCUMBAG?