Friday, October 16, 2009

The "Get Smart" School Of Journalism

I'm calling "shenanigans" on the boy-in-wayward-balloon story yesterday - there was some scumbaggery afoot that WE THE PEOPLE were not made aware by our "liberal media". One only wonders what that could be...

I'll give an example:

"TWA Flight 800 Breaks Apart In Midair; Cause Unknown"

So...over 200 eyewitnesses notice an object approaching the doomed aircraft before the catastrophic event.

"Would you believe the 'streak' that you all thought you saw was actually the plane itself breaking apart in midair from the fuel igniting itself?"

"No? Would you believe that all of you were DRUNK?"

I just heard on 1010WINS this morning, at 6:32 AM, that "the balloon incident was NOT A HOAX"...and the check is in the mail...and I promise not to do that thing in your mouth...OOPS!

Update: On Larry King Live (hosted by Wolf Blitzer), the child admitted to the story being a hoax, his parents are noted for having been contestants on various "reality TV" shows, notably the wife-swapping show. The mind reels...

Let's try this again:

"WTC Brought Down By Impacts From Passenger Jets And Fires From Jet Fuel"

Then a peer-reviewed report is published which not only refutes the possibility that airplanes could damage a substructure which withstands hurricane-force winds daily, can survive multiple strikes from wayward planes (rated to be at least equal to the impacts realized by WTC Buildings 1 & 2); nor could open-air fires have affected the viability of the steel comprising the substructure of the building, but that materials used in controlled demolition were found in the dust from the "collapse" of said buildings, not to mention that a THIRD BUILDING "collapsed" that day, that was not directly impacted by much of anything, and did not experience huge fires.

"Would you believe a microwave set to 999 minutes with a soda can?"


"Would you believe THERMAL EXPANSION?"

"Tough crowd!"

I have two words for you, dear readers: Hiram Monserrate.

Okay...actually, it should include one more word - SCUMBAG.

I'll have to wait until I run by the actual does a glass go from being whole in your hand to being broken against your girlfriend's face...UNLESS YOU BROKE IT FIRST, SCUMBAG?

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