Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tiger By The Tail

The "Distraction Media" finally got their bloody wedge issue; Tiger Woods' infidelities.

I know more about Tiger's whores than I need to.

Tiger Woods has been recast as O.J. Simpson for this decade. His marriage has been laid bare for the last couple of weeks, and I'm appalled that Americans are falling for this obvious bit of scumbaggery. There are real issues of import; why does anyone care about this?

Let's boil this down to its basic element: here's a news story about a celebrity who cheated.

How is this news in this day and age?

Tiger - here's my appeal to you - don't fucking kill yourself; don't go off the deep end. This is not the end of your world; it is the end of everyone thinking that you were some sort of infallible icon...after all your accolades, you're just a man.

Deal with it.

I have a lovely girl, and I'll never cheat on her. I can say that absolutely, without reservation. Tiger should have been aware that these women were after his celebrity, not his person. Trust me...if I ever get famous or rich, I'll pay a bodyguard to fuck every groupie coming my way...he'll promise them that they'll get a piece of me, after he gets a slice...then, throw them bitches out on their asses!

What...are they going to say anything to anyone? "I tried to bang Lion Steel, but his bodyguard screwed me and threw my whore ass out?"

Hmm...actually, that might make great copy at the Post.

Oh...and a cautionary note to Elin...they will turn on you like sharks to chum...so don't think your peccadilloes aren't in the public domain...just wait until they get tired of you.

So...to add: Accenture (formerly Arthur Andersen...oh - did everyone forget?) is right to drop Woods from their advertising...Bernie Madoff is a much better figurehead. Imagine the balls of the scumbags who, along with Enron, dry ass-raped California for electricity.

Yes, that's right - Enron's former accountants don't think that Tiger Woods is a good spokesman.

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